And then I got laid off. I’d never copied a backup to my home computer, so I lost all of it. There wasn’t anything all that profound in its contents, but profundity in database administration is not something I’ve aimed for. Just remembering how to do shit, that’s a more practical goal.

I hate that I never made its contents public (removing anything company-specific obviously), because that had been my plan, once I felt there were enough posts to spread them out well over the following weeks. I was going to have a tech blog with sparkles and put it on Planet MySQL. So much for that.

I’ve since built up similar notes at my current job and am wondering about whether I should restart the whole tech blog idea, as the recent conference has me jonesing for an online presence that’s not just this silly self-obsessed brainfart of a blog. I don’t know many DBAs or database developers and it’s a lonely existence. I bet there’s maybe a handful of MySQL DBAs in all of BC, and I must be only one in Kelowna (not surprising, this isn’t the “silicon vineyard” that local businessmen were hoping to create). Sigh. I think I’ll go sit at my window and stare out at the ghetto parking lot behind my apartment, dreaming of having friends who aren’t software developers.

But back on the tech blog idea: there’s one last thing leaving me uneasy, and that’s Planet MySQL. There’s voting, a la thumbs-up-or-down on a per-post basis. That just seems, I dunno, mean, like we can’t all be nice and appreciate everyone’s effort even if we think it’s all bollocks. Most of the voting seems to be politically charged (i.e., pro-Oracle posts will get a bunch of thumbs-downs because some people are upset about their recently finalized purchase of Sun/MySQL) and if you avoid that arena you’re halfway there. But I’ve been barked at in comments sections of blog posts, too, and I wasn’t even saying “FRIST!!!111″ or trolling or anything.

I would hope that anything I produced would be read and commented on and if I was full of crap or worthy of mockery then people would at least be nice about it like my teammates are when they laugh at me at work (at least they’re smiling as I run off to the bathroom to cry). I guess I just don’t see the point of voting at all on an aggregate feed of blog posts about databases, and worry about getting commenters who are going to get all snippy at me because I don’t like master-master replication (because if so, they better BRING IT).

Any techies still reading want to comment on this?

I’m going to be doing an Ignite talk at the MySQL Conference on the Wednesday evening. Exactly 5 minutes long, where I have 20 slides that automatically advance every 15 seconds. Oh dear.

I haven’t done a presentation since university, and those were always to a few dozen classmates and a teacher who already liked me because they didn’t really know me. The last time I felt moderately comfortable talking in front of people was in high school, and the realization that that was 15 years ago is so not helping me.

I hope by the time I get on stage everybody’s drunk.

See, last week my friend Mark suggested I submit to do a talk on something non-technical to round out what’s going to be a lot of MySQL- and database-specific content. I didn’t really think my proposal would get picked, as the synopsis began with “Mark told me that if I didn’t submit this proposal he would drown my cat”. Of course, this is completely false (as far as I know…), so perhaps this is their way of punishing me for slandering their colleague. Good job!

My talk is tentatively titled “The Safety Guide to Database Administration”, and for half a year it’s been a blog post draft that I couldn’t finish. It’s a list of rules of how to survive being a DBA, some of which are common sense and others which will probably make people wonder about me a bit, but that’s okay, I never pretended to be normal. I’m hoping it’ll be mildly amusing but I’m hoping more that I don’t pee myself from fear.

One thing that especially bothers me about this is having to make Powerpoint slides. It seems so cruel to sacrifice a kitten for an unnecessary public speaking exercise.

Also, I can only remember making one Powerpoint presentation before, ever. I’d be much more comfortable putting up transparencies on the overhead, but I bet that’s just so last millennium to these people.