Is your Cat confused about the referendum on the voting system on the 5th May? (Youtube video)

I was vaguely aware that there was a referendum happening in the UK, but didn’t understand what it was about, so I’m glad the cats were there to educate me. But while I love gratuitous kitteh content, I can’t help but be saddened a bit by the fact that the same referendum isn’t happening in Canada.

If Canada’s federal voting system worked by Alternative Vote, then people would choose their first and second candidates, rather than the usual one, so that if your candidate had the lowest number of votes, your second choice would then get your vote and it would be re-tallied. No strategic voting necessary to ensure the dog doesn’t get the majority (if you are a cat, I mean).

It’s been interesting to see Casual Cat suddenly gain popularity over the Moderate Cat. I just hope, in our current system it doesn’t further split the cat vote, though it probably will.

(Note I’m not making value statements about the parties, it’s just that the video does a very good illustration of the election situation here in Canada, if you were to map the dog to right-wing politics and the cats to the left. Except that it’s missing Runaway Cat, of course.)

I suppose cats make better pets for writers than dogs, since they don’t require you to leave your desk. In fact, they prefer you to stay at your desk so they can jump up on it and knock papers over.

In any case I’m glad I’m all set to become the great novelist I sort of would like to be but don’t have the work ethic or, to be honest, imagination or talent for either.

Speaking of my fluffy bestseller starter kit, here’s a panorama of her view in daytime:

She seems to like it; there’s so much world to be snooty at.

Happy Friday everyone!

It’s probably for the best that she doesn’t care, I can’t give her the luxurious lifestyle expected of a celebrity.

This cat video is one of the best to come out in ages:

I believe I’ve had that exact same conversation, except without the face-slapping. They never really approved of that behaviour in Girl Guides.

Perhaps this blog just isn’t very educational, in which case I present you with a how-to guide for washing your cat:

“That is the sound of pleasure.” I first watched this on my iPhone in bed and my cat started jumping around trying to find the mewling cat. I bet it’s because she was so jealous from missing out on the fun.

I don’t get why it took scientists 3 years to figure out how cats drank water, but maybe the math was hard. I could always tell there was some crazy physics involved, especially since my cat’s incapable of drinking water quietly enough to not wake me in the middle of the night. I bet they drink this way just to spite us. Here’s an article if you haven’t read about it yet, and here’s some slow-mo video:

Most of you have seen this one already, but for the 2 of you who haven’t:

It’s like when you get a box of chocolates and there’s a second layer underneath! Except with kittens!

Note that the entirety of this post was written with the help of a feline lapwarmer. There was no point pushing her off, she just would’ve jumped back on anyways.

In less awesome news, I did hear a week or so ago of more violence against cats here in Kelowna, which makes the sticking-cats-in-a-sealed-container-in-the-sun from last month just seem kinda mean. I’m not going to link to the article or video, because the title is enough: “Cat mutilations now total three”. How do such people exist, who would treat animals so cruelly? I also heard about a local guy tying his dog to the back of his truck and driving at full speed. I really hope it’s not a trend.

My cat may complain about cruel treatment but don’t believe her. Obviously I am very obedient and comply when she puts her foot down.

(Warning, the video footage is disturbing to those who love animals.)

To summarize, last week some asshat here in Kelowna stuck a mother cat and her 9 kittens in a large tupperware container, sealed the lid and put it out in the sun. Luckily someone walked by and found the container and saved the suffocating and hyperthermic cats in time. They all survived, but it’s still one of the shittiest examples of animal cruelty I have ever heard.

If they ever catch the person who did this, I’d like him/her to be put in a closed tupperware container out in 30C+ weather and see how they like that. That’s the least violent punishment I can think of.

Seriously, like it’s said in the video, there is no reason for people to kill their pets: they can be surrendered to the SPCA, no questions asked. According to my records, my cat was surrendered to the Grand Forks SPCA a few months before I got her. I almost wish I knew who had to give her up so I can thank them, as backwards as that may sound, because she is an awesome cat and I can’t imagine the last 5 years without her.

Sorry for the depressing content. But if you go hug your pet you’ll probably feel better real soon. Unless it’s a fish and you’ve just killed it.

I love that the instant the cat is up and walking around he immediately tries to go where he’s not supposed to. Good sense of priorities, that one.

In local news, my cat attacked me the other night. I think I was rolling over in my sleep and she suddenly jumped onto my arm and gave me some scratches and a puncture wound. Next time I’ll ask permission first.

Then sometime last year I started hearing stuff about how having a cat is really bad for the environment. Like you need 5 million hectares of land to grow the grain to feed the cows that become the food of a single cat for a year, even if the cat food’s made of chicken. I’m too lazy to look it up, you go try if you want. Also that kitty litter is totally bad too because it’s gathered via strip mining, and it’s got bad cancer-causing stuff in it, and disposing of it does really bad stuff to fish or some such thing. I’m not gonna look all that up either, I’m tired, the fucking cat started attacking me in bed at 5 am this morning.

(By the way, the Wikipedia page for kitty litter is full of win. People need to see two pictures of cats taking a dump so that they’re assured it’s not just an aberration.)

Screw Mother Nature, I’m keeping my cat. If only to get back at her for this morning, but it’s the principle of the thing. This sucks, though, I don’t want to have to be mean to the planet just for Shebang’s sake, I’d rather do it on purpose in a big way, like BP.

Alternative kitty litter would be an option except for the fact that I don’t have a car to go drive to the big pet marts to go get it (see? Society doesn’t want me to be ecologically friendly). Safeway just has the regular clay stuff and possibly the weird crystal type that may be better for the environment but its scifi appearance worries me. I think some friends of mine use wood pellets or something, and a brave few have managed to teach their cats to use the toilet, but I don’t have that level of dedication, and I’m equally doubtful of my cat.

I think @gusgreeper linked to this video earlier this week: a commercial for litter made out of whole kernel corn.

I don’t care what you’re selling, if you pass me a beaker and ask me if it smells like cat urine I’m not going to sniff it. You sniff it, you litter-eating weirdo.

Seems it’s a real company, no really. This is the first time I’ve heard of corn being used; I’d be curious how good it is as litter. Not enough to do a sniff test on TV, though, fuck.

So corn is biodegradable, what with it being corn, so maybe it’s better for the environment but then aren’t we already raping the earth with corn production already? And killing everyone with high fructose corn syrup and stuff too. Though that last one’s probably a good thing for the earth in the long run.

It’s been a real long time since I last did the cat-blogging, but I’m obviously behind because I’ve been getting requests to talk about my cat some more. Dunno why, it’s not like anything much happens in her life, she’s stuck in a cheap apartment in Kelowna. So I’m gonna pad this out with links too.

This is a month old, but my friend Chrissy sent it to me and it’s cute: a cat playing with an iPad:

I tried that with my cat and the Kindle but she didn’t seem that impressed. Must be the lack of colour screen.

Okay, so I like cats a lot and some of you think I’m all rather silly about that but I do have limits, unlike some people. I don’t care if Shebang were at death’s door, I’m not marrying her (though this being Canada our both being female is not the issue, but BEING DIFFERENT SPECIES IS OMFG). I’ve lost a few cats in my time, and it really sucks but I’m not sure you’re checking off an item in the kitteh’s bucket list by making her an honourable woman. Because she’s A CAT.

Okay, okay, fine, I’ll talk about Shebang, Mr. C.L. who emailed me the other week. He asked for photos of her at her “new locale” and info on how she’s handling the change. Um, it’s been 9 months. That’s like a decade in cat years. Also in bored city girl years. So there’s no change left. Frankly she was fine once I unpacked and got rid of the mountain of boxes and wrapping paper, and that was in August.

I think cats are usually fine wherever they are, so long as you’re there to feed them and provide toys and furniture and be a warm body to curl up on. Come to think of it, that sounds like a pretty good deal for anyone.

The picture above is her on my bed (Mom crocheted that blanket years ago), and the picture below is her on the top of the la-z-boy chair. She seems pretty comfy to me. Also I switched her food a few months ago and she no longer has explosive diarrhea.

TMI Friday!