I’ve now heard a rumour that I can blog after all, so I think I’ll keep this thing up, at least until I get some sort of official communication one way or the other. No, I’m not going rogue on you, all I’m getting from work is hearsay so it would be wrong for me to come to any conclusions just yet, especially when shutting down this blog feels like removing a big chunk of my identity. Frankly, it’s ridiculous how bad I felt yesterday.
I’ve been thinking this past week about my blog and what it means, and what it’s worth to me, all in the context of a random person who might feel that it’s bad because I use profanity here and there and often refer to things grown-ups do for the sake of metaphor. The conclusion I came to was that this blog has at times been awesome and has improved the world with its existence (even if only a little) and I can’t just dismiss it as a minor hobby even if that’s what it’s been lately.
One of my proudest accomplishments since leaving school was the fundraising I did with this blog. $5000 to the BC Cancer Foundation over three events between 2006 and 2008, just from me nagging you lot on this here website. I mean, fine, maybe I cajoled with the promise of pictures of my friends and I parading around Vancouver in our underwear, but that was what the events were about, after all. This year the event is in five cities, and my old team is still running. Go Thunder Panties!
I’ve also managed the odd post that touched people, or made them think, or other sappy stuff. Posts about sexism, and homophobia, and the difficulty of finding a good pair of jeans. One person reads my blog to help his English (though perhaps all the swear words aren’t particularly helpful there). Several people have said they were inspired to start their own blogs after reading this one, and that’s a pretty awesome compliment as far as I’m concerned.
I’ve managed to make a couple people laugh hard enough that I owe someone a new keyboard. Of course, usually the laughs come when I’m not trying to be particularly funny. I like to pretend that people are laughing with me, and not at me; since we don’t see each other I could assume the former, but then again I’d probably laugh at me too.
My good works also include the multitude of cat photos. Because the world doesn’t have quite enough of those yet.
It wasn’t that anyone was saying that my blog was bad. I just had to convince myself otherwise in the midst of turning the blog off and then suddenly feeling like I’d lost my voice. To be perfectly honest, I am really lonely and miserable in Kelowna, but I still had this blog and Facebook and plane trips home to keep me sane. Losing any of that would mean a sadder me, and I’m morose enough at my cheeriest.
Anyways, I’m hoping this was much ado about nothing and I can keep the blog after all along with a disclaimer that of course the opinions stated here are not those of my employer, you ninny. Or maybe something more polite.
We’ll see.