Well, I’m scared every day about something I’m doing next week, is that good enough?
I’m going to be doing an Ignite talk at the MySQL Conference on the Wednesday evening. Exactly 5 minutes long, where I have 20 slides that automatically advance every 15 seconds. Oh dear.
I haven’t done a presentation since university, and those were always to a few dozen classmates and a teacher who already liked me because they didn’t really know me. The last time I felt moderately comfortable talking in front of people was in high school, and the realization that that was 15 years ago is so not helping me.
I hope by the time I get on stage everybody’s drunk.
See, last week my friend Mark suggested I submit to do a talk on something non-technical to round out what’s going to be a lot of MySQL- and database-specific content. I didn’t really think my proposal would get picked, as the synopsis began with “Mark told me that if I didn’t submit this proposal he would drown my cat”. Of course, this is completely false (as far as I know…), so perhaps this is their way of punishing me for slandering their colleague. Good job!
My talk is tentatively titled “The Safety Guide to Database Administration”, and for half a year it’s been a blog post draft that I couldn’t finish. It’s a list of rules of how to survive being a DBA, some of which are common sense and others which will probably make people wonder about me a bit, but that’s okay, I never pretended to be normal. I’m hoping it’ll be mildly amusing but I’m hoping more that I don’t pee myself from fear.
One thing that especially bothers me about this is having to make Powerpoint slides. It seems so cruel to sacrifice a kitten for an unnecessary public speaking exercise.
Also, I can only remember making one Powerpoint presentation before, ever. I’d be much more comfortable putting up transparencies on the overhead, but I bet that’s just so last millennium to these people.
You should totally bring transparencies and an overhead projector, and simply change sheets at the 15 second intervals. That would be awesome, and people would love it.
If you have to use PowerPoint, I recommend as few words as possible on each slide. None, when feasible, which should be fairly often, especially for this sort of thing.
And having a drink or two before you start probably wouldn’t hurt, if you’re nervous. But do practice, just to make sure you can fit everything into your allotment.
Or maybe I could record myself on tape and have it beep every 15 seconds to tell the person to change the slide. And use real slides. That would be sweet.
Congrats on taking the plunge and doing something that’s scary for you! That’s awesome – and I know you will be too!
Not that it matters but it was the most entertaining ignite talk, good job on the slides as well.
Don’t let that encourage you to use more powerpoint though, in addition to killing kittens it makes me cry. And crying makes me drink.
Gillian,
I found your talk a perfect balance between entertaining, informative, personal and easy to relate to. You had a very convincing attitude on stage, while seeming at ease too. I’m impressed.
Great talk in the morning (on the webcast)!!
Wow, for someone who has not talked since high school you did an amazing job. Must be a really fast learner. Definitely the best talk of the morning. And I am glad that no kittens got hurt.
Killer wake-up Ignite presentation. Ccommon sense solutions that are often overlooked in the hustle and bustle. Right on!