So last night I was moving around the furniture in my bedroom, putting the bed against the opposite wall. Specifically because the, erm, moving of furniture next door had kept me up the night before. I was fucking with my feng shui because I didn’t want to hear the neighbours fucking. My chi has become unbalanced because of their balancing acts on the couch.
It’s a bit rude, #305, to have an orgy and not invite me, the person who’s been forced to listen in due to the rice-paper walls of this building. Granted I have ten years of experience on you and my good looks might be intimidating, but if you watch closely you might learn something.
Also, unlike you, I don’t have to fake it.
So Friday night was interesting. Now I know that the girl next door likes to be spanked. She had people coming in and out (*cough*) of her apartment for several hours, and according to my unintentional observations the evening went something like this:
10 TURN ON STEREO REALLY LOUD
20 TURN OFF STEREO
30 HAVE GROUP SEX
40 GOTO 10
Interestingly had it not been for instructions 10 and 20 I might’ve fallen asleep and never heard any of her un-Christianlike conduct, but because of the stereo I was up, and I discovered while brushing my teeth that my bathroom acts as an amplifier of the sounds next door. This is award-winning architecture, let me tell you, because there’s nothing I want more than to be serenaded by “YES YES OH OH OH… YES!” while on the can.
I was pretty pissed off about all of this at first but as I was moving my bed around yesterday I remembered myself 10 years ago when I got my first apartment, and realized that, well, I had a lot of fun too. Though not with so many people at once since I’m just not that organized. So I can’t really judge, though maybe I’m half impressed and half wondering if she’s recently turned to prostitution (that’s not judgment, that’s imagination).
I need to write her a note anyways asking that she move her stereo to a different wall and to not operate loud appliances in the middle of the night (she’s generally pretty good, but on average she probably bothers me one night a week) and I’m wondering if I should hint at the fact that I was made aware of her extracurricular activities on Friday. Would it help if I gave her a verbal high-five, and then suggested that her bedroom is a perfectly good location for that sort of thing?
I, for one, think it’s awesome that you reduced the sex to such a BASIC operation.
Maybe you could add something in the note reminding her to stretch the next day, lest she stiffen up?
Maybe she likes to get all her sex for the year done in one go.
@Garth I tried that, but it chafes me so.
It turns out it’s a couple who live next door, not just a female (I’d only seen her before). An open relationship, I guess… They responded to my note and were very polite, and instantly moved their stereo away from our shared wall, which helped. Sadly they didn’t say anything about my overhearing them, no invite for next time.
The inner geek in me is smiling at recognising the ‘BASIC’ emphasis