November, 2009:

So in local (i.e. my apartment) news, I managed to introduce spankings to my cat such that she didn’t run away and then started liking them in that creepy way that the cats on youtube do. And here I was thinking she was all about the vanilla! Yes, I realize it’s wrong and perhaps disturbing to talk about this but when did that ever stop me?

Sadly because cat spanking requires two hands (so you can get both sides equally and not tip her over) I am unable to film this, but believe me, it’s as ridiculous as is necessary.

I must be hormonal this week because when I started looking through Average Cats I laughed so hard I cried. I guess the only thing funnier than a lolcat is an anti-lolcat:

In case you missed this last week, check out the chart entitled 17 Things Worth Knowing About Your Cat. Even though it’s not about your cat so much as cats in general, since your cat wasn’t around when Sir Isaac Newton invented the cat door (which is so much more useful than calculus or laws of motion). Did you know that kitties are not impressed by cupcakes? I didn’t!

I’m heading to Vancouver tomorrow so let’s hope my cat can survive two and a half days without me, or spankings.

Thanks to my friend Jaime for pointing this video out to me, and to the website Everything is Terrible for editing this video from the original*. I wonder if spanking is covered.

That’s all I got for cat links this week, I’ve been working hard at my database twiddling and have neglected Her Highness, who luckily has managed to keep herself amused by being in the fucking way. She’s so giving.

*By the way, it’s my birthday in a month. Hint. Hint.

I had this odd group conversation at work today where one guy mentioned that there’s a confirmed case of a cat getting H1N1, so here’s another thing to freak out about. I’m happy to hear that the cat recovered, along with its ownersdomestic staff, though as it says in the bottom of that article, two ferrets (and no dogs) have died from the virus.

I think the conversation then drifted briefly onto ferrets and someone suggested that maybe the reason why they were affected by the virus was because they were rather humanlike in behaviour already, such as their ability to grab things in their paws. I then mentioned the existence of polydactyl cats, some of which have that same grasping ability due to their “opposable thumbs”; but the guys thought I’d made it up until I produced pictures like this one (though at first they did wonder if it was photoshopped).

I guess people in Kelowna don’t ever see polydactyl cats. Huh. Maybe there’s a market for them here since they’re so exotic; too bad the cat whose feet are in the picture above was fixed years ago. One workmate, perhaps in the excitement of having discovered a new life form, kept referring to these cats as “pterodactyl cats”, and refused to be corrected because he liked his name better.

Of course, since the internet is omnipotent and complete in all universal knowledge a google search on “pterodactyl cats” produces actual results, one which is a Yahoo Answers page where the person means polydactyl but is stupid since you automatically become stupid once you post a question on Yahoo Answers, if you weren’t already. Another link is a Youtube video of a cat making scary noises. Oh, and here’s a picture of a cat and a pterodactyl, despite the fact that’s not really a pterodactyl.

I don’t know if I mentioned before that one of my workmates has a cat that likes to be spanked, but I have been spanking kitties since I moved here. Someday I should make a video because it is silly. It’s also a bit disturbing, though, how much the cat likes it, so I feel dirty afterwards. Then I come home and try it on my cat and she leaps away in horror. Typical that you’d only get that kind of pussy with a stranger.