Gillian’s First Crochet Pattern she made herself, really

A few weeks ago I was showing my friend Chrissy these dishcloths I’d been making, using a pattern I’d made up in my head because I was too lazy to look one up on the internet. She complimented me on them and said I should publish the pattern, so here it is below. As it’s quite simple, I’m sure it exists elsewhere under a different title that doesn’t have a swear word in it.

In regards to the pattern name, it’s based on my frustration when I gave a few of these to my stepmom the other weekend as a birthday gift. She insisted they were potholders due to their corner loops for hanging. Even when I told her that I made them and that therefore they were whatever I said they were. So she’s using them as potholders. Which pisses me off, because I feel as if my art has been defiled… by not being defiled.

Update June 2009: Chrissy was nice enough to mention this pattern in her podcast a few months ago, and she had the great idea to add a single crochet border around the thing to make it look better and stronger. I have added this to the pattern itself below. Right side photo is also by Chrissy.

The “It’s Not a Fucking Potholder” Dishcloth

Yarn: Any cotton worsted weight yarn, such as Lily Sugar ‘N Cream.

Hook: 4.5 mm / US 7
(or whatever is recommended for your yarn)

Gauge: Who cares? It’s a dishcloth.
The example I created with this pattern is using Sugar ‘N Cream yarn and a 4.5 mm hook, is 29 stitches across and 26 rows high, and measures about 19 cm (7.5″) on each side.

Special Stitches:

FLSC: front loop single crochet
BLSC: back loop single crochet

Notes:

In brief, the pattern involves single crochets on all the outer stitches (first and last row, and first and last stitch on each row), and then an alternating FLSC and BLSC in all the stitches in between. If you need to make it larger or smaller than given in the pattern, chain an even number of stitches for the foundation chain and crochet to the desired length.

Pattern:

CH 30.

Row 1: SC into 2nd chain from hook, SC in every stitch across: 29 stitches. CH 1, turn.

Rows 2 to 24: SC, FLSC, *BLSC, FLSC* 13 times, SC. CH 1, turn.

Row 25 (or last row): SC in each stitch across row, 3 SC in corner stitch, repeat around edge of dishcloth. (This makes a nice thick border.)

Hanging loop (optional): SLST under the last stitch you just made (the corner stitch) from the side, CH 12, SLST into that same space from the top, fasten off. Weave in ends.