Some sort of weather goddess

At the beginning of Douglas Adams’ So Long and Thanks For All The Fish is a lorry (truck) driver who’s rather miserable because wherever he is, it’s always raining. This is because he is a Rain God, though he doesn’t know it, and he’s followed around by clouds who worship him.

Some of us who have read the book have undoubtedly hypothesized that had his divine status been known, the man could have been hired to bring rain to drought-ridden areas and do good in the world. Or at least make tons of money.

This book character was brought up in conversation when I mentioned my potentially godly talent: producing nice weather while unemployed.

If you can find old weather records, check out mid-February through mid-March 2005. It was unseasonably warm and sunny, and if you don’t believe me, here were the Burrard Station cherry trees on March 15 of that year:

This year they blossomed when, May? At least two months later, anyways. While I was working full time, you’ll note.

In late August people were complaining that it had been a crappy summer and that the weather was already turning to fall, and then I was let go. And then came nearly 3 weeks of warmth and sunshine. See? It’s all thanks to me!

The fact that it’s pissing down with rain now and was frightfully cold last night must be because I am looking for work now. If you call sending out one resume looking for work. It’s not not looking for work, surely. Sorry about that, by the way.

It has been suggested numerous times, when this superpower of mine has been mentioned, that people should pay me to not work for the sake of the weather. I could get in with Vancouver’s tourism board. By not working, I could turn this city’s image around and make it a sunny paradise. Maybe they could have me work just for an evening here and there to get the crops watered but not disrupt daytime outdoor events.

Of course, being paid to not work is rather contradictory, because surely it’s work if you’re paid to do something, even if it is to do nothing. Like some union jobs. So I’m not sure if this is logically feasible, though it’s worth a shot. Anyone want to try it out?

Update: I just remembered that the one true vacation trip I’ve had since university had me in New York in mid-October where it was over 20C most days. So obviously the nice weather powers follow me.