On my short-lived modeling career

I was teased the other day that I was wanting to get my picture in as many books as possible. I had no good retort for that, since it’s true. I was happy to sign the form to appear in Blogging for Dummies some months ago. Maybe I feel that my name and/or visage inside a published volume gives my life legitimacy. Or maybe it just strokes the ego so slowly and gently, the way I like.

A few weeks ago I got offered the chance to show up in a book again, so I was all “hells yeah” and showed up on Saturday morning to a friend’s place to play model for a book on knitting graffiti called Yarnbombing. The book, as I’ve been told, is a how-to guide to create and deploy knitting (and crochet) onto public places, such as telephone poles, railings, and fences. There’s something especially subversive about the combination of the wholesomeness of yarn crafts and the criminality of graffiti, don’t you think?

A group of us spent the day going around the South Granville area taking photos of the act of attaching the knitting to various public structures, among other yarn-related activities involving needles and hooks. I played one of the textile delinquents in several shots, and learned something about myself I’m very ashamed to admit: Modeling is hard.

I always thought those chicks on America’s Next Top Model were particularly stupid, not just for whoring themselves on international television but because many of them looked like dorks during the photo shoots, unable to do what is asked of them by the photographer and tripping over themselves. So I spent a good portion of Saturday hearing this voice-over repeat how “Gillian can’t take direction” and imagining that I’m no longer in the running to become ANTM. So sad.

Nah, it’s just really funny how I seemed to lose IQ points with a camera pointing at me. Like, I couldn’t distinguish left and right, at all. Normally that’s not an issue because as a lefty I know what makes me Different from everyone else.

The photo shoot was fun, and I’ll be curious to see what’s used in the book when it comes out next year. The opportunity was taken numerous times to refer to two of us “working the pole” as we pretended to hang knitting on a lamp post. There were also many shots taken of me from behind (walking away from the camera, carrying some knitting), which says much of the photographer, who managed to find my best side. In retrospect I should’ve worn tighter jeans.