If I ever berate someone for being a downer or asshole from chronic pain, just shoot me, okay? Actually, shoot me now so I don’t have to wait another day for this root canal. This has been one of the longest weeks of my life, and nothing particularly bad happened, except for the feeling of my face being sliced open, continuously, for hours at a time.
My inner bitch mechanism has been triggered. I’ve spent the last couple of days gradually becoming the sort of woman I don’t like (i.e., that yells at people). I suppose it was just a matter of time, given how the pain from the tooth has worsened, but even I’m surprised at myself, how angry I’ve become. Normally I react to things by becoming passive and sad, but instead I want to bite the heads off of former coworkers who bump into me on the bus and won’t STFU about bloody Chinese horoscopes and how they like to work 16 hours a day because it’s more fun than their nonexistent social lives. The 98 B-Line takes an especially long time, I’ve noticed, during these occasions. But, yeah, I’m not handling the stress too well, and am taking it out on people who should just be told they’re idiots and then ignored for the rest of the bus ride.
The drugs I was prescribed didn’t do a hell of a lot, as far as I can see. Although I appreciate the resultant stomach cramps that are a distraction from the head and face pain so, so much. I’d take the pills in the late evening and then I’d get the worst pains of the day soon after, where I’d crouch into fetal position and whimper to myself and be saddened by the fact that doing so didn’t make me feel any better. But then, neither did much else. Except for last night’s copious brandy quaffing, where I know I had some strange online conversations with people and I hope I don’t have to apologize to anyone. I’m not used to hard liquor, you see, and I’d missed dinner. And at least it made me pass out and sleep last night, which has been one of those activities I’ve been missing a lot lately and is another reason behind the new bitchy me.
One of the few things I hate about being an adult is that you can’t necessarily just give up on work and life and hole yourself into your apartment indefinitely when you’re not feeling well. A big problem with this for me is that there’s nobody here to feed me, but the other thing is that unless you’ve got a heavy object keeping you from moving (like in this photo), you’re expected to get up and go to work and fulfill all your usual responsibilities. And that sucks. I mean, fine, I have an allotment of sick days per year, but the databases aren’t going to administer themselves, and the most I can usually do is work from home.
Really, I just want to go back to being a kid and have my mom take care of me.
25.5 hours until the root canal.
Hang in there! Ice cream?
Poor Gillian! That absolutely sucks and you have every right to feel sorry for yourself.
Leave the databases alone for a while – giving yourself a break is more important. Plus you don’t want to end up killing someone on the bus for talking about Chinese Horoscopes (though, I do think you’d be justified).
BIG *hugs*! I hope the pain is all finished with soon!
Best of luck with the surgery tomorrow and until then, hang in there! Dental pain is the worst
Gawd i know how that feels. When there’s something bad that just doesn’t go away and you just want to hole up in the apartment indefinitely and not be accountable to anyone (it doesn’t work that way though does it, arg).
Teeth can be a real pain in the butt. Hope it gets better, and it will!! good luck!
Me glad you don’t have that pain now… Hopefully it’s gone for good.
Let’s catch up next week!
[...] last time I blogged about how it’s hard to just give up on work and life and hide in your apartment [...]
[...] of you who’ve been following along since last summer may remember how I went through extreme facial pain as a result of botched dental work. In short, I had some fillings done and they resulted in an [...]